I'm a little surprised with myself right now. Yesterday morning I came to the sudden and jarring realization that I might be a coffee snob. (?!?) This seriously shocks me because I have this picture in my head of what a coffee snob is like (uh-hm *Dad* uh-hm). A coffee snob is someone who only ever drinks their coffee black, because putting anything else in it would be akin to java-adultery. They actually brew it as strong as the back of the bag says to brew it *gag*, so that when you pour it out of the pot it has the consistency of sludge and could curl a caterpillar's eyelashes. Even better than sludge-like coffee is espresso -- and don't you even dare pronounce it "eX- presso" -- big coffee snob no-no. The coffee beans must be at their absolute peak of freshness when they arrive in the store, and roasted no more than 10 min. prior to brewing (in fact, I think most coffee snobs would prefer to roast their beans themselves in the comfort of their own home if they had the capability). Oh yes, and you never, NEVER grind the coffee beans before you are ready to IMMEDIATELY use them. Ideally, one would pluck, roast, grind, and brew the beans EACH time a cup of coffee was made, but since most find this to be an unreasonable course of action, rules have been developed for the storage of coffee beans for a short time. They must be stored in an air-tight container under just the proper conditions, and NEVER refrigerated.
I think that sums up the basic platforms of a coffee snob...did I miss anything, Dad?
Then there's me. I have the coffee shop pre-grind my beans when I buy them so I don't have to deal with the mess later. I buy a light-roast coffee, and brew it at about HALF of the recommended concentration listed on the back of the bag...because I like to still be able to taste my food later in the day. Even brewed that way, I find the actual taste of coffee to be rather unappealing on its own, so I add about 3 cups of flavored cream to my mug of coffee. (By the way, my new favorite is vanilla chai spice -- yummy!) My Dad's face harbors a look of severe physical pain whenever he watches me "make-up" my morning coffee. I think he would launch a rescue attempt for my beans if he was given the chance.
I don't really remember why I started buying coffee from an actual coffee shop. I think I just tasted a kind there that I liked, so I started grabbing a bag occasionally. To get back to the point of the story, just this week I bought a cheap bag of coffee from Walmart. I didn't really have time to run to the coffee shop to get my usual brand, and talks about the family finances have been more frequent since the holiday season, so I figured I would sacrificially do my part and buy some cheaper grounds. I figured it would be no skin off my nose given the amount of flavored junk I pour into my mug -- who would be able to taste the difference, right?
WRONG!! The first time I brewed it and made-up my mug, it tasted like I had just used my flavored cream and forgotten to add the coffee. I'm convinced all the coffee pot spewed out was hot water. OK, I thought...cheaper grounds, less distinct taste. That makes sense I suppose. So, this morning I just brewed the coffee a little stronger than usual. GROSS! Now I can taste the coffee and it's just plain disgusting!
Certainly, I don't approach my Dad's level of coffee insanity. So maybe the term "coffee snob" doesn't really apply. Maybe I just need to call myself more of a "coffee brat" or something.
Well, I'm off to the coffee shop (don't tell my husband). Anyone want a bag of cheap coffee?
17 comments:
Have Ronnie make you a cup of coffee one day.
Why? will I gag or be hooked for life? :-)
Too bad Dad left town before he saw what the coffee brat had to say. You can't exchange good quality no matter what strength you brew at... You come visit we have your favorite coffee selection in an airtight container and next time, due to your delicate palate and the state of economic affairs, I'll make sure he brews it weak :-)
Thanks Mom - you're the best! :-)
You make me laugh, a lot! This post was great! The coffee in the cafe tends to be on the stonger side. I personally like a lighter medium roast brewed at medium strength, but black is a must. :) I should make you a french press sometime when we have time in the cafe. Its delicious!
P.s. I am glad you are not too snobby or bratty to come into the cafe for your chai.
Ooooh Diane, there's an idea, everything taste better when it's been french pressed!
Well, we drink that cheap stuff from Wal-mart and it gives us a quality buzz! :) (We do live on a pastor's salary. Maybe, we've just learned to tolerate it! I personally would rather buy some paint and carpet than good coffee!!!!) Although, I also pick up pennies off the ground. Now, I sound like I have problems!
Have you ever talked to Pastor Nate about his coffee obsession? It's bad! He does roast his own beans!!!!!! In fact, when Nate came for breakfast before he was hired......he brought all of his own stuff to make coffee at our home. It was pretty funny! He also gets into the ethical side of the business. I don't think they buy beans that have been picked by children. (fair trade or something)
I should just start drinking more water. It's free and no children are hurt bringing it to my sink. :)
Oh my goodness - I had no idea about Nate! It sounds like he and my Dad would get along! I should probably drink more water too, but...naaa. :-)
I like that last thought... it has lots of merit :-) Heathy, cheap, quick and always available.
LOL! I was going to tell you about Nate too. Well, welcome to the club my friend! There is nothing wrong with being a lover of fine things. You'll just have to learn to "cut corners" somewhere else. Like milk. Kids don't need milk right?! :)
However--Nate doesn't drink it black. We were at their house last night and Kristin handed him a cup of black French-pressed coffee, and he looked confused. She laughed 'cause she'd forgotten to add the flavored stuff.
I'm the same kind of coffee drinker as you. But I've stopped buying the flavored creamers--too much partially hydrogenated oils. I use half and half and sugar-free syrups. They have Davinci brand at Sam's, but I recently found the Torani brand at World Market--and they have lots more choices of sugar-free. And it's a more flavorful syrup.
My problem is that I forget to drink it once I've prepared it and I have to reheat it in the microwave all morning. It must be psychological. Just by having the coffee sitting beside me, I feel energized.
Kristi -
I admire your healthy choice. I, too, have thought about the contents of the junk I put into my body and the effects it might cause someday. However, I continue to hold firmly to the theory that we're all going to die of cancer anyway - you can't possibly avoid all the causes! So...I choose to not try and fix it at all! :-) (I know, I know, it comes close to heresy -- go ahead and shoot me!)
J-
I already cut the kids' milk back when milk hit like $43.12 per gallon! Oy! They have to drink water between meals now. Maybe I should take it a step further and only let them have milk at breakfast...? :-)
So much yet to learn!
You forgot the filtered water, unbleached paper filter, precise water temperature and time in contact with the finely ground beans. You also failed to mention that once brewed in must be consumed fairly quickly before the process of oxidation turns it too bitter and begins to blur all the subtle nuances of flavor.
The cup is also important. No soap residue, non-reactive (stainless steel or glazed ceramic works well; plastic does not) not too broad at the top lest it cool too quickly or oxidize while you are drinking it. Tall and deep works well; keeps it at the proper temperature while concentrating the aroma thus enhancing the olfactory contribution to the overall experience.
Don’t even get me started on the foods that should be consumed with your coffee that provide the proper contrast to the slightly bitter earthy qualities in a properly brewed cup-o-jo.
-Dad
Dear Delilah's Dad,
I don't even know you, but I love you already! Your last post was not only very true, but also very amusing.
Sincerely,
Diane
Wow, "Dad"!
Delilah, your father drinks too much coffee.
This may just be the post that never dies! :)
Hey girls, meet my Dad. Dad, meet the girls. Girls, my Dad is one-of-a-kind. Absolutely wonderful, and, as you can see, very interesting. :-)
(Hey Jenny, I'm starting to wonder if it's possible to hit 20 comments on this thing??? Of course, I suppose my own comments don't really count, eh?)
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