We taught Sunday school this past weekend in our youngest daughter's class. At the beginning of the hour, a little girl walked up to me and said, "I'm 3!" and held up 3 cute, chubby fingers. "Really?!" I said, "I'm 32!" Then another little child popped up from across the room and said, "I'm 3!" At which point, my husband pointed at me and replied, "She's three too!"
(Get it?...3-2...32.) The man cracks me up. These are the sort of jokes that go on CONSTANTLY in our house. The jokes that either no one else gets, or everyone gets but thinks are incredibly stupid. I, however, cannot stop laughing. He makes me smile.
There are some things, however, that he thinks are uproariously funny that do NOT make me smile. Things like me falling into the toilet in the middle of the night. My husband is usually very considerate, and rarely leaves the toilet seat in the raised position. Although, when he does leave the seat up, it always happens to be on the toilet that is in our master bathroom, which I rarely use EXCEPT in the middle of the night. Who's going to turn on a blaringly bright light at 2:14 in the morning, right? So, I don't. Add to this the fact that I am utterly BLIND without my contacts in. So in I go to the bathroom -- blind, in the dark, and 7/8ths asleep, and attempt to sit down on the toilet.
"YELP!" *splash*
OK...maybe the splash was an exaggeration because my hips are bigger than that...but STILL, the experience is highly jarring!! From our bed, my husband starts gaffawing, "Har, har, hardee har." This...I do NOT find amusing.
He also finds it hilariously funny when he walks into a room unexpectedly and scares the willies out of me! His standard line is, "Who did you think it was?" Well, duh...obviously I didn't think it was Fred from down the street, but I didn't expect ANYONE to be there right at that moment! He thinks it's even funnier if he happens to catch me talking to myself when he walks in and THEN scares me to death! So I talk to myself, what's the big deal? The man acts like it's a sign of psychosis or something.
He's also a very hard man to "repay." I've tried hiding around a corner and scaring HIM before, but that always backfires. I scare VERY easily, and I really hate the feeling of being startled. So, everytime I try to scare him, he just shoots me this look like, "Do you REALLY want to start this game?" And truth be told...no, I don't. So, I'm still working on formulating a plan. I thought about the plastic wrap toilet trick from high school, but that seems like it would have a high rate of failure. In addition to a husband, I also have 4 children, and am the sole individual responsible for cleaning the bathrooms. Not a good plan.
Mischievous ideas, anyone??
8 comments:
2 years later and we are still laughing about the gold fish I put in our girls staff toilet to freak out my co-worker. They were infected and Walmart had slotted to destroy them. Also, don't forget to use chorline drops so they live long enough to freak someone out :-)
I'll have to think about this one. We've seen PLENTY of pranks in our years of youth ministry. Although, most of them aren't very easy to clean up and the kids always get into trouble. So, I'll have to ponder this question. :) Mark is one of those pastors who HATES pranks on youth trips. :(
Ah ha ha ha ha! Love your stories. And the way you tell them!
Don't have any good ideas off the top of my head. (Besides, does he read these comments?) Played the best prank ever on my college roommate, but don't think it would affect Samson the same way it did her. Though if you want to hear more, I'd be happy to tell...
The way I see it: to be truly funny for everyone, a prank has to not destroy anything (property or feelings), which does make it hard to pull off a truly funny prank...
P.S. Yet another reason i love to hang out with you guys. Not only did I get the "3-2", I thought it was the opposite of "incredibly stupid."
Ok, you are too funny. The falling into the toilet story had me laughing for a good ten minutes!
And the scaring easily... I am just like that. I understand your pain!
Now, for good pranks... I thought of this because of the toilet thing. Get some methylene blue off of ebay or somewhere else (ebay is good for it I think) and bake it into brownies or something for him. Its not harmful and it will turn his pee blue. Who wouldn't be freaked out by their pee being blue?!?!
I really hope he doesn't read this...
Oh goodness, I have been thinking of more for you. When he is sleeping, get up earlier than him. (this only works if the bedroom door opens in) Tape newspaper to the door frame, but leave an opening at the top. Then fill it with packing peanuts and close off the opening. (I can get you packing peanuts from work from all our delivereis) When he opens the door the peanuts will fly all over because of a vaccuum it creates.
Tape or binder the sprayer on the kitchen sink down so that when he turns on the water he gets sprayed. Just don't forget and get yourself!
Save the sports pages from the previous day. (if he is a sports fan and reads that section in the paper) then the next day put yesterdays news in todays paper. Do this for like a week straight!
Short sheet your bed if he gets in first.
Get some water in your hand, then walk up behind him and sneeze and spray the water all over the back of his neck.
Fill a balloon with confetti and then blow it up and tape it to the wall next to the door. Then shut the door most of the way. Tape a scissors or knife or something to the inside of the door, you have to do this from outside by reaching your hand in. Do it so that the balloon will pop when the door is opened. Then shut the door and turn off the light and wait for them to go into the room.
That is all I have for now. I was in the group that pranked people during church trips and stuff... what good times!
Diane...remind me never to get on your bad side.
Hahaha, Delilah, never get on my bad side! But, I wouldn't do this stuff to you! It is reserved for only certain authoritative type people!
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