Confessions of a Pessimist

My husband likes to razz me for being pessimistic. I prefer to think of it as realism. I find dealing with eternal optimists to be...trying...at times. I like to be prepared, and being prepared requires coming to grips with the fact that things rarely go perfectly.

I'm normally pretty OK with this aspect of my personality. Until today. Today, I think my "realistic" (pessimistic) tendency crossed the line and morphed right into the nasty ol' sin of ingratitude. I was putzing around in the kitchen this afternoon, thinking to myself how wonderful my life is right now. Here is just the tip of the iceberg:

~I adore the man I'm married to; he's Godly in every way I can think of; he breaks his back to provide for this family and never complains about it; and I consider him my best friend.

~I have 4 children. They are all healthy, have never been seriously injured in any way, and are happy and well-adjusted additions to our family.

~3 of those children are in school. They have wonderful, God-ordained teachers who are great matches for their personalities, they go to a safe and wonderful school, they are all doing well scholastically, and they are all developing good and healthy friendships. (And the stay-at-home mommy of 8 years is finally getting a little breather. :-) Shhhh...don't tell anyone I said that.)

~My first grade son started out the school year struggling with his reading. He was piecing together 3 letter words, but not much more than that. This was frustrating to him, and overwhelming to me in terms of knowing how best to help him. I prayed about it daily in the beginning. Today, he took one of many reading tests this year. He has sky-rocketed in his reading level, and is now reading chapter books that are above his grade level. What an answer to prayer!

~My husband has a solid, well-paying job in the middle of a very yucky economy.

~After many "close calls" regarding having to move, we are still here!!! In a house, neighborhood, church, town and state that I LOVE!

~Our family seems to be entering a really fun stage with the ages of our children - everyone is old enough to participate in fun family activities, and yet they're all still young enough to actually want to hang out with us! :-)

~We've always wanted our kids to be best friends with each other, and from all visible appearances (cross my fingers) it's happening!


There are so many more things that I could add to that list, but here's the point: my life seems to presently be in a state of blissful rest. Family is great; health is great; ministry/family/school/work seems to be at a reasonable balance; no major catastrophes; no major bumps in the road.

So, here was my "realistic" (pessimistic) gut reaction to that realization: *Great* What does God have up His sleeve that He's preparing me for...this has to be the lull before the storm.

WHAT?!? What kind of ungrateful, stinky, self-absorbed, and untrusting attitude is THAT?!? I'm all for being prepared, but that crossed a line. I immediately checked my attitude and started a prayer of thanks for the blessings, comforts, rest, joy and peace in my life. You know what? It might very well be the lull before the storm. I think that God, in His mercy, does allow us rest before something major comes along. That may be realistic. BUT, for that to steal my gratitude and joy for the present calm in my life...that's just wrong.

So, I am purposefully cultivating a heart of gratitude tonight. And I think I just might start striving a little bit harder toward (*gulp*) becoming an optimist. It takes trust to be an optimist. And trust blesses the heart of God.