Samson at his best

My husband stopped a car accident from taking place the other day with nothing more than a simple Mountain Dew can. OK…the car was only moving at about 0.5 miles per hour…but still! It all went down in the parking lot of the place where he is employed, and I have included the e-mail he sent out to his co-workers explaining the situation below. In order to really understand this story, you kind of need to understand my husband’s obsession with Mountain Dew. He calls it the “nectar of the gods” and he drinks it every day. I’m pretty sure he’s convinced that it can impute superhero qualities to anyone who drinks it. This scene took place as he was returning to work after lunch, still finishing up his beloved Dew for the day:

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Folks,

I debated about sending this note but figured I'd want to know if it was me... if you own a red Hyundai Elantra hatchback, or you know who does, read on.

As I was pulling into a parking spot after lunch, my eagle eye spotted an opening behind the above-mentioned Elantra. Much to my surprise, the Elantra was rolling back at only a slightly faster rate than I was moving forward. Given my cat-like reflexes, I was able to put my car in park, leap out of my vehicle and with a mighty (Dew-enabled) force, stop the car from rolling further and return it to its rightful spot. Then with a keen intellect, I finished my Dew (which was still in the car - how I got the Dew from the car at this point is another story) and placed the pop can under the rear passenger tire. Upon further inspection, I realized that the car has a manual transmission, and it appears the last person to drive the automobile must have left it in neutral. As in all good action adventures, needless to say, the hero of our story was able to resolve the problem before any damage occurred to said vehicle or surrounding innocent bystanders (or cars).

So if you know the owner (or are willing to confess), you may want to alert the last driver to go back and put a more reliable remedy in place. A car can be a formidable match, even for a Dew can!

Sincerely, Man without a Mask

PS - I did reconsider my original plan of parking my own property behind said vehicle! ;-)
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Puts a whole new spin on “Do the Dew,” doesn’t it? I hear tell the guys at work have begun to call him The Incredible Dr. Dew. I think he should do a commercial. With a cape. Any ideas for the tag line?