Words rise up from a page
Race along neurons
Shatter neatly ordered compartments
And conviction sears
What would I give up?
What is He worth to me?
Have I sold out?
What do I truly desire?
Suddenly, comfort feels strangely stolen
Quiet ease smacks of laziness
Gluttony tastes bitter
And shiny toys seem like nauseating excess
Some saints pray to have food for dinner
A single Bible for an entire house church
Medicine for a dying child
Safety from the authorities
Most days, I pray for more comfort
Oh, I try to dress it up
To groom it purer than that
But it falls flat
An empty echo of what should be
I face Him, exposed
What now?
Change seems impossible in so many ways
I need help, strength, grace
If this is what He asks:
To give up everything I know and have...
Then I stand on the edge of a canyon
That I cannot cross
The Spirit cuts deeper still
I have misunderstood
He isn't asking this much of me – not yet
Because I am not yet capable of giving it
Only those who are faithful in the small things
Are called to the great
I cringe, reproved –
The unfaithful steward
He does not ask martyrdom
From those who still bristle at spilled milk
Am I so weak
So spiritually atrophied
That my battles pale
To this degree?
Yes? Well, then...
I feel shame
I take it to the cross
And leave it where it belongs
Grace dawns new every morning
I begin anew
A fresh start
As a faithful steward
Of the little things
Patience with childish blunders
Acceptance of inconvenience and discomfort
Love that looks outside myself
A follower of the true Servant
And I pray that the day will come
When He will find me ready
Faithful enough
For the big things
2 comments:
Come to Me ... Matthew 11:28
Oswald Sanders comments, “. . . and I will give you rest”— that is, “I will sustain you, causing you to stand firm.” He is not saying, “I will put you to bed, hold your hand, and sing you to sleep.” But, in essence, He is saying, “I will get you out of bed— out of your listlessness and exhaustion, and out of your condition of being half dead while you are still alive. I will penetrate you with the spirit of life, and you will be sustained by the perfection of vital activity.” Yet we become so weak and pitiful and talk about “suffering” the will of the Lord! Where is the majestic vitality and the power of the Son of God in that?
As you stand at the canyons edge you will feel His hand in yours, a twinkle in His eye, as He murmurs "Let's go!"
In John Ortberg's new book he writes of "asking for the mountain." That those greats of the Bible and beyond have asked God to give them the mountain because He doesn't expect us to take that mountain on our own efforts but to rely on Him to climb. Everyone's mountain looks different but God's provision is all the same.
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