A Bubbling Pan of Memories

This is my favorite time of year.  It’s no big secret.  I pretty much shout it from the rooftops every year.  I love autumn so much that I start wishing for it at the beginning of August.  This yanks a knot in the tail of my heat-loving husband every time.  He cries when it snows, and becomes downright giddy when it tops 100 degrees.  So, when I start wishing for autumn on a hot August day, he starts lookin’ a little scary.  But testy husband or not, I wish for it all the same.

When the temperature finally starts to drop and the leaves come out from behind their summertime masks, I cannot suppress the annual urge any longer – it’s apple crisp time.  No autumn of mine would be complete without it.  Heaven in a pan is what that is.

I’ve been making the same apple crisp recipe for 13 years.   It all started back in college when a co-worker of mine brought in a pan of apple crisp to the night shift at the nursing home where I worked.  In between rounds in the middle of the night, we plopped down in our white scrubs and tasted her home-made treat.

It was amazing.  So good, in fact, that I demanded the recipe from her on the spot.  Which is funny because I didn’t cook.  I lived at home while going to college and just never bothered to explore the culinary frontier.  Not for lack of trying on my mother’s part, mind you - I was a pain that way.  But I knew that I would soon be married, and presumed that I would find my domestic groove on the way down the church aisle.   And when I transformed into Betty Crocker on the day of my wedding, I knew that I wanted to have this recipe in my apron pocket.  So, for the sake of my future life, I insisted that my co-worker share it with me.  She obliged.

Whenever I make that recipe, I can’t help but think of her.  She and I shared several years together on that night shift in the nursing home.  We helped one another, irritated each other, cleaned up various unmentionable bodily fluids together, played cards, shared junk food, and poked each other to stay awake between rounds.  Throughout that time, we also shared countless conversations.  My relationship with Jesus was no big secret, and I remember her asking me questions about it from time to time - how I made sense of certain things, why I lived my life differently than she did, and if I felt like I was missing out.  I didn’t, but I got the sense that she did.

 I prayed for her throughout college.  She needed Jesus, but to me it seemed like a long shot.  I figured she was one of God’s tough cases.  My faith was still immature enough to cause me to believe that there is such a thing as a tough case for God.

Years passed.  I graduated, quit that job, and got married.  I didn’t really bother to keep in touch with my college friends back home.  I was too busy fretting about the fact that any Betty Crocker worth her salt wouldn’t cook something from ground turkey that ended up looking like vomit and tasting even worse.  So much for finding my domestic groove.

Then, about a year into my marriage, the phone in our little apartment rang.  It was Apple Crisp Girl!  I was shocked!  I didn’t even know she had my new phone number!  We swam in the shallow waters of superficial conversation for a few minutes, and then she dove right into the deep end and said something that I’ll never forget…

“My life felt so crazy and out of control back when we worked together, and you always seemed to be so peaceful.  I’ve always wondered what it was that gave you so much peace.”

I was stunned.  First, because “peaceful” was not how I would have described myself during those days.  My life was downright chaotic when she knew me.  I was going to school full-time during the day, working part-time on the night shift (I slept through ¾ of Microbiology because of that time swing), studying for my nursing boards, and planning a wedding at the same time.  Peaceful?  Thank God that what she saw in me was the all-surpassing peace of the Holy Spirit instead of the day-to-day crazy that I felt!  Second, I was stunned speechless for a moment because never before, and never since, have I ever had God drop such a wide-open opportunity into my lap to share my faith.

I silently prayed a mile a minute, and for the next hour we discussed spiritual things -  Jesus, salvation, the Bible, my experiences.  At the end of the conversation, she thanked me and told me that I had given her a lot to think about, and then she hung up.  I never heard from her again.

Over a decade later, as I stood in my kitchen making apple crisp this afternoon –  a perfect, cool, sunny, autumn day – I thought of my friend.  And I also thought about what I’ve learned about apple crisp over the years.  One of the things that makes a really good apple crisp is how you handle seasoning the apples.  You can throw together some cinnamon and sugar, quickly dump it over the apples and toss it in a pan, but it won’t turn out very well.  You can’t rush the apples.  You have to sprinkle some of that cinnamon sugar over the apples and let them soak in it for a good long time.  After a while, you have to sprinkle on some more, turn them over, stir them up and then let them soak awhile longer.  You have to sprinkle and soak, sprinkle and soak, until you have a gooey, delicious, messy pile of apples.   Cook those apples up, and you’ve got yourself some tasty apple crisp!

I can’t help but think that leading people to Jesus is much the same way.  I can throw the gospel at someone, dump ‘em right into an invitation to salvation, and hope for the best.  But I might not end up with the tastiest result.  Or, I can choose to sprinkle my relationships with an authentic glimpse into my love for Jesus - an offer to pray for a hurting friend, a helping hand in a crisis, an honest answer to a pointed question, a thought-provoking conversation - and then be willing to wait for the Holy Spirit to soak that circumstance in grace, turn it over, stir it up, and make a delicious treat out of the whole thing.  Sprinkle and soak….sprinkle and soak.  There is no rushing the process, but the end result is definitely worth waiting for.

Lord, thank you for the opportunities You’ve given me to sprinkle others’ lives with a taste of You.  May I never rush the process, but instead allow You to soak the people I love in Your wondrous grace.  Be with my friend today.  Continue to turn her over and stir her up until she is ready to taste and see for herself how good You are.